Popular Posts

Saturday, November 24, 2018

I was bored the other night. You're welcome. (A non satirical piece of satire)

Points of Profundity for Pondering from Professor Poops
Minding your P's by watching for cues:
GUYS!
If you are REALLY complimenting a girl-
1) Give her the compliment and leave it at that.
If she wants to talk to you or is interested in you she won't let the conversation die without at least one save attempt.

No matter how socially inept you might be.
2) If her response is short (See #3 below if unsure of what that means), and even if she includes hearts, kissy lips, or any other cutsie girlie heart-eyes bullshit...

That does not mean she hearts you.

99.9% of the time she's just being nice.
Let it go.
Don't make it awkward.
3) If she gives you unreciprocal responses (IE: close-ended, meaning not requiring a response) then she's not interested.

If she stops responding that is a good indicator of a unreciprocal response.

If you have to be cued in on these cues then you are not Don Juan enough to salvage the situation.
Let it go.
Don't make it awkward.
4) If your guido game gets gaffed after she realizes you're just lamely trying to holler at her and the tone goes from hearts to horns don't act like a temperamental child because your ego can't handle rejection.

Apologize..
Let it go.
Don't make it awkward.
GALS!
When a guy compliments you-

1) Just because he compliments you does not mean he's interested in (or wants to bang) you.

Petting your insecure ego with false self-esteem by making assumptions is very unattractive.
2) If a guy compliments you and then initiates (or tries to initiate) rudimentary conversation.. 
It's not a compliment.
It's a pickup line.
He thinks you're prey.
If you are not the prey type and it's in person:
Try farting to distract him.
This will also cover your exit path from pursuit. ≥
3) You don't have to be a Cranky.Unempathetic.Neurotic.Type.

But don't offer false hope by way of open-ended conversational replies out of pleasantries either.

The male brain does not understand pleasantries.
To it, pleasantries= 👉👌 potential.

A good way to avoid leading him on if he's hard of hints is to just stop replying.

Then after his inevitable breakdown fit you can gently inform him that the relationship obviously isn't salvageable at this stage if you are having these kinds of interactions so early on.
Then suggest seeing a single couple counselor.

We already know he is telling his friends you two are banging anyway after he sent you the 37th consecutive message with zero responses from you.
So let him think he's somehow fucked up the relationship he wasn't in.

When he is left with the self-blame of ruining the best thing he never had, hopefully he will be more astute to subtle hints in the future.

No comments:

Post a Comment

You are a written program, here is the source code.

It was by no coincidence that I came to write this on the birthday of one of the very individuals who not only witnessed it's beginnin...